is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
