i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she smelled like a LAN party
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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