Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
