I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
