Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize