did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
