That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
