is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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