He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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