He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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