A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
