Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
