The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
