Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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(703): View more from Virginia

She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

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(516): View more from New York

i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.

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(816): View more from Missouri

i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.

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(818): View more from California

I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.

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(619): View more from California

If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives

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