What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason