went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.