Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.