4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
