For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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