Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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