On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
