Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
