Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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