the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
