after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.