Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.