i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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