I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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