who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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