i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
