Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
