how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
