Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
