Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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