They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
