I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
