I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
