The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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