Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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