At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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