He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
