There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
