I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
