i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.