yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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