naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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