i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
