i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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