that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
