i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
