I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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