Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
