he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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