So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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