don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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