im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
