We're facebook friends in real life
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
