Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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