so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
