I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
