Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
